they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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