I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
