I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
