i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
