i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
