I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What happened to fro yo and sex?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
