i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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