ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
