just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
