My brain says no but my pants say off.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
