By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
