we have pet lesbian snakes
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
