I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
