Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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