they need to just BURY HIM!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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