Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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