i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
