I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
