I wish my penis had an off switch
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
