do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
