I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
