Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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