great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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