toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize