Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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