Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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