you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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