do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize