I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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