I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
