Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
