my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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