I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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