Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
