its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
