I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
