You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
