a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
