shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
