We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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