dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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