I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
