if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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