i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
