In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
