Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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