that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
