How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
from now on my penis is your penis
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
