I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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