this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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