Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You need Xanax blowdarts
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
