porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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