i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
