AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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