I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
