R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
