great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
