That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My vagina just clenched in fear
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
