Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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