your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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