What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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