I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
