OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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