Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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