Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
