Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
