My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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