there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize