does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
