i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just had sex on a roof
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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