fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Success! We fucked roommates!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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