dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
