I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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