yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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