probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Two words: nipple clamps
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