We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The air taste purple.
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