She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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