i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize