What did we do last night that was yellow?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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